During the first year after my partner sustained his brain injury, life was a roller coaster ride. By the end of that first year, although his confused periods became fewer and his moods improved little by little, I gradually became more aware of his deficits.

A brain injury is a hidden disability affecting a person in a way that will sometimes make them appear, to others, to be lazy. This apparent laziness is the result of lack of motivation. Those with frontal lobe damage very often experience this deficit along with the accompanying inability to plan ahead. They sometimes also exhibit poor judgment. For this reason, lack of motivation can be a major concern for family members.

My partner, following his brain injury, had no real interest in doing anything. For most of his days he sat on the couch and dozed off and on, occasionally playing a game of solitaire. He was bored. When I made suggestions of what he could do, he had no desire to try them.

I recalled when one of my children was ten months old, he had no desire to learn to crawl. Being easy-going and placid, he was content to sit and watch the world from his blanket on the floor. But he was attracted to the budgies in their cage. One day I placed the birds in their cage on the floor, set him in ‘crawl mode’ and he was off. I considered how I could translate this knowledge into something that would work with my partner. One thing I realized was that desire had to be the motivating factor.

Being a strong believer in ‘lists’, I made up a list of things he had previously enjoyed doing. By having several tasks written down, he now had choices. It was a checklist with a beginning and an end when he was able to cross off the completed task. The result was a feeling of accomplishment. The list idea did help somewhat with his lack of motivation.

This is a big step for those with a lack of motivation deficit. Their efforts should be supported and encouraged. And if things don’t go well, stay calm, don’t overreact and remember to take one day at a time. They are baby steps towards recovery.

Most people suffering from brain injuries are unaware, (at least in the initial stages, if ever), of their deficits. As one neurologist said, ‘How do you get someone to work on a problem they don’t believe they have nor care about?’